Friday, June 11, 2010

A big yellow clock with a picture of Carrot Top in the middle

Dr Thaddeus Robertson proudly announces the

Incredible Steam Powered Food Preparation Device and Instant Hot Water Receptacle

Ladies and gentlemen, come closer and prepare to be amazed!  Are you tired of always fussing with damp kindling to start a fire?  Do you waste away from hunger while you wait for the stove to heat up?  Tired of your bread burning on one side because of uneven fire?  Do you hate hauling wood?  Wouldn't you love to turn a lever and instantly have hot water for your tea or your bath? 
Dr. Robertson's new device will make all those problems a thing of the past!  Step into the future with the new and amazing steam powered stove!  You'll be amazed at how easy and fast it is to prepare the finest of meals with scientifically precise heating. Control your cooking temperatures with a turn of a dial.  Hot water is always at your fingertips with a simple twist of your wrist.  Yes ladies and gentlemen, we are living the dream of the future! 

When Dr. Robertson unveiled this one, it really blew me away.  There are so many things that I like about it!  The tap and kettle on the reservoir is really awesome because it makes it so easy to fill a tea kettle or a bathtub.  (and it set my mind at ease about the whole tea and bath combination)  The use of zodiac symbols on the dial fascinates me.  I asked Dr. Roberts why he used the zodiac and he only smiled mysteriously and refused to answer.  Oh well.  With the good doctor who knows why he does what he does.  As long as the dial works, that's all that matters.   The fact that he also makes it beautiful just adds to the charm.  

Dr Thaddeus gave me a brief description of the mechanism on the oven doors but honestly, it made no sense to me.   It has something to do with creating a rotisserie effect inside the ovens by turning the air instead of the food.  The brass and copper gauge on the front of the oven door shows in which direction the air is revolving.

I was really fascinated by the burners on the stove top.   The Dr tells me that the burners are designed to hold a pot up high enough for steam to move freely from the bottom to the sides and evenly cook the contents.  It sounds to me like there's a dragon under it blowing steam on the pan!  It's supposed to cook food even faster than a microwave because the reflectors on the back of the stove push the heat back to the cooking surface.  

Dr. Thaddeus went on and on about all the details and most of it went over my head.  The arrogant little bastard laughed and said he thought that it would.  I reminded him that he's small enough for me to stow away inside a shoe box if he keeps it up with the attitude.  LOL!  He mumbled something about a switch under his breath and walked off.  At least I think he was talking about a switch.  That's what it sounded like anyway......

An interesting aspect of living with the Dr is going shopping with him.  Obviously he needs supplies and just as obviously, I can't let him be seen.  I mean, I live in a fairly tolerant area but a six inch tall mad scientist on my shoulder is going to raise a few eyebrows!  So I stuck him in my purse and off we went to the thrift stores.  I stuck my Bluetooth in my ear so people would think I was talking on the phone and that allowed me to talk to the Dr without drawing attention to us.  Hell, three quarters of the world is wandering around talking to themselves like crazy people but thanks to technology no one gives it a second thought.  Score one more for technology.

Anyway, the good Dr and I started thru the thrift store and began with the jewelry.  He didn't find anything he liked there altho I saw a pair of earrings that were really cool.  He jabbed me in the ribs and told me to stay focused.    Little tyrant.   Finally we found the shelves with the clocks and the Dr got excited.  He yelled, "The yellow one!  Grab the yellow one!".   I groaned.  Oh gawd, not the yellow one.  Another sharp jab in the ribs got the point across and I reluctantly picked it up.  I said, "You mean this yellow clock with the picture of Carrot Top in the middle?".  "Yes, yes!  That's it!!" cried the doctor.  I didn't even hesitate and told him, "There is no way in hell that I'm going to walk thru this store carrying a huge yellow clock with a picture of Carrot Top in the middle.  And if you think I'm actually going to go thru a check out counter and tell the clerk that I want to buy it, you have another thing coming".  

I made a mental note to myself that from now on I'm going to tie the little twerp's hands behind his back before I stick him in my purse so he can't poke me anymore.  I'm going to have bruises on my ribs for a week!  Needless to say, I gave in and actually went thru the store *and* the checkout with the gawd-awful yellow clock with a picture of Carrot Top in the middle.  On the ride home the Dr tried to console me by saying, "Look at it this way.  I'm going to destroy the clock and the world will have one less big yellow clock with a picture of Carrot Top in the middle".   Okay, so he makes a good point but it was still humiliating.  However, we had a good shopping day and picked up a couple of mysterious items that the Dr will use in his experiments.  He asked if we could stop at the pet store but I drew the line there.  He acted all innocent and said that he just liked to see the puppies.  {snort}  Yeah, right.   Not gonna happen.

As I write this, the Dr is back in the studio and I haven't had the nerve to go in there yet.  I heard a loud "sproing!" and a crash and then "Ooops, my bad" but I really don't want to know.  I'll check on him tomorrow.  Right now I'm going to go make dinner and have a relaxing evening with my hubby and the cat.  I think the Dr will be so busy that he won't notice that I've locked the studio door behind him.  


  1. Increible!! es realmente un invento!!
    Muchas Felicidades

  2. ah- wonderful!!!! The doctor is clearly a genius- but I completely understand if you don't want to tell him I said so. Don't want to be adding to your problems :)