I so want to sleep in this bed! There are 20 pillows and snuggling down into that much silk would be a dream come true.
More pics are on my website here: http://www.debsminis.com/steampunk_daybed_dollhouse_miniature.htm
Monday, July 19, 2010
Steampunk Day Bed
Dr Thaddeus Robertson has overcome the biggest obstacle for daytime napping.........he's figured out a way to stop time as long as the napper is snoozing in his Amazing Solar Energized Time Preservation Napping Bed. I'm not sure how it works, but if he could make it in life size, he and I would both retire!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
A Lesson in Pain
Last Wednesday was my first appointment with the spine doc. I went in clutching my MRI films (getting copies of those was a new experience in incompetence!) and not really knowing what to expect. It had taken over an hour just to fill out the new patient paperwork because there was soooo much of it and I had to initial and sign and swear in blood that if they gave me any medication I wouldn't even tell my husband where I kept it and agreed to random drug tests twice a year to be sure that I was taking the correct amount and not selling it in dark alleys. Not that I've been in any dark alleys (lately) or that they think a middle aged woman would be considering a new career as a drug pusher. It appeared to be all legal stuff but you can see why I was wondering what to expect! I've been trying to avoid taking the pain killer route in all this so I was a little apprehensive about them just handing me a prescription and shoving me out the door. Turns out that I didn't need to worry about that at all. They're more about eliminating the pain than simply masking it with narcotics. Yay!!
The first person I saw was Dr. B's physician's assistant. My first impression was "I have shoes that are older than this kid". Then I took a closer look and thought, "Wow! If he has an Australian accent, he'll be a perfect double for Dr Chase on "House". He's pretty!" It didn't take long to figure out that there was more to the PA than a pretty face. He's intelligent and was very meticulous in his exam. He asked a lot of questions and listened to my answers. The listening part alone got him a gold star in my book. That doesn't happen very often! Even more impressive was that he took notes. After he was finished, he went outside and discussed his findings with Dr. B and they looked at my MRI pics before he came in.
The first thing Dr. B asked was, "How long have you had this pain?" I opened my mouth to answer and then realized that I really don't know. I tried to answer again and my brain still wouldn't engage. So I sat there looking like a fish while I tried to figure it out. Finally I told him that the pain started about 20 years ago but has become debilitating in the past five years. He looked at the forms I'd filled out and said, "Tell me about the old injuries to your back that you mentioned here".
Oh dear. I was afraid that was going to come up. I'd thought about not mentioning them at all when I filled out the paperwork but if I want doctors to be honest with me, I can't not tell them things that might be important. So I took a deep breath and explained about Domestic Violence: The Gift That Keeps on Giving.
The upper back injury happened one night in the late '80s when I was sound asleep and my ex came into the bedroom, took an assault rifle off the wall, and slammed it down across my shoulders. It took about three or four years for me to recover from that one. When it would flare up I wouldn't be able to even turn my head for months at a time. Now it's just a dull ache that I don't notice unless I stop and think about it or the weather is really wet and cold.
The lower back injury wasn't nearly as dramatic but apparently it caused more damage. My ex shoved me into a kitchen counter and the corner of the countertop made a direct hit into my right kidney. That one never really stopped hurting, especially if I touch that spot on my back, but after awhile I got used to it. My way of dealing with pain isn't to ignore it or try to convince myself that it doesn't hurt..........I just convince my brain that it's normal to feel that way. The human body is a lot tougher than most people imagine. With time, we can learn how to assimilate almost anything.
Fortunately Dr B didn't make a big deal about the reasons, he simply asked, "Why haven't you looked for pain relief before now?" I explained that I didn't have the option for medical assistance at the time and then later on, I'd lived with it for so long that I didn't really even think about it anymore. When it started to get worse there were other medical issues that took a priority and the only reason I was seeing him now is because my rheumatologist had finally seen the MRI report that the quack internist had dismissed as "just fine" and said she wanted me to see a back specialist. Fortunately I had a lull in doctor appointments until the end of the month so I could fit him in. I think his lip twitched and he almost smiled at that.
After that he started his exam and pushed and prodded at various parts of my back, especially where the degenerative disc disease and facet arthropathy is the worst. He showed me one of the spine sculptures that doctors always have and explained how the bones were grinding against each other in those places and how steroid shots would provide the cushion to relieve the pain. He said surgery may be something to consider down the line but for now we can try the shots and see how I do with them. Yay!!
The discussion turned to which part of my spine to do first since they need to divide the amount of steroids up into two sessions for it to be effective. Dr B told me to turn around with my back to him and he started tapping against my spine with the flat side of his fist. I yelped a little here and there but it wasn't any worse than any other exam until he got to the S1 joint. He waited until I exhaled and then drew back and gave it a rap just to the right of my spine.
OMFG. I screamed and my knees buckled. My hubby caught me before I could hit the floor and shoved my cane under my hand. I pulled myself back upright, gasping for air but not really finding any. Tears were running down my face and I realized that the sobbing noises I heard were coming from me. It felt like a piece of bone had come off and pierced the bundle of nerves at the base of my spine. It took several minutes before I could catch my breath and stop crying.
That was a real awakening for me. Dr B had just demonstrated the amount of pain that exists when I'm not controlling it thru breathing and diversionary tactics. It shocked the hell out of me to think that this is the pain that I've been living with for so long. Granted I don't often encounter raps to my lower back like that, but the pain is the same that I feel whenever I'm standing or walking.........just not as sudden or unexpected so I can control it. I didn't see Dr B's rap coming and he caught me on the exhale so it was a sucker punch for sure. I understand why he had to do it to evaluate the pain levels accurately, but if he ever does it again I'm gonna go upside his head with my cane. Not even a doctor gets more than one chance at a sucker punch with me. LOL!
Dr B helped me back up on the exam table and said that we'd start the injections with the sacrum region and do the lumbar later. There will be around 60 injections the first time, but they're going to put me under the "amnesia anesthesia" so it doesn't matter. The really good thing is that he said they can do the cortisone shots in my hands at the same time. Double Yay!! I'm waaaaaay overdue for a refill in my wrists so right now I'm happier about that then I am about the back. I'm glad we can get that all over in the same day. Given the option, I'd rather have twice the pain on one day than to have half the pain on two days. Might as well get it over with at once. Hopefully the injections will work on my back. I'm optimistic about that since I already know that cortisone works for my hands. It stands to reason that it might work on my back too. I haven't really thought much about what it would be like to not have the pain in my back. It's been so long that I can't really wrap my brain around that concept, but it did cross my mind that it would be nice to be able to mop the kitchen floor without having to stop and sit down every three minutes.
The last thing Dr B talked to me about is the cyst on my right kidney which had him pretty concerned. He's sure it's from the old injury (which didn't surprise me at all) and strongly recommended that I find a good internist to take a look at it. He said that the shots aren't going to impact any pain coming from the kidney at all so the worst of the pain may still be there afterwards and if it is, then at least it arms me with information that I can use to push an internist into doing the tests needed to determine the damage to the kidney and possibly get the cyst removed. I'm putting that on my medical to-do list right after "getting oxygen to my muscles" and "removing the elephant in my throat".
I'm having the shots done on the 26th which is going to be a busy week because I see the pulmonologist on the 27th and the thyroid surgeon on the 29th. Oh, and as long as I was there, I asked the doc about the pain in my collarbone that the thyroid specialists say can't possibly be caused by my collarbone being shoved into my thyroid gland. He said there's nothing skeletal causing it. Therefore, if the thyroid surgeon tries to pull that same bullshit line on me of "It's just arthritis or referred pain from your spine", I can tell him that I have a rheumatologist and a spine specialist who are both willing to 'splain anatomy to him and prove that it's his job to fix it.
I may be on the right track, depending on what happens with the pulmonologist and the surgeon. At least I have one more doctor on my side who's willing to tell other doctors what needs to be done. I'll be going into see doctors 12 and 13 with a real chip on my shoulder and I'll start yelling if I need to. At this point I really don't give a shit if they have to call security to come drag me out of their offices. I'm not going to leave until someone does something to fix me. My awakening moment in Dr B's office has been a bit of an eye opener that things are probably a lot worse than I think they are. If I can hide *that* kind of pain from myself, what else have I become accustomed to just because it's felt that way for so long? I shouldn't have to live with a thyroid gland that is constant agony because there's a bone jammed into it. I shouldn't have to live on 80% of the oxygen my body needs simply because some template says that I'm too fat to be considered worth fixing--especially since it's the lack of proper medical attention that has caused my weight gain in the first place. Most of all I shouldn't have to live with the possibility of cancer growing unchecked in my throat. I've been pissed for a long time, but now I think that I'm just plain outraged about it all. I guess it's time for my southern upbringing to be set aside (much easier said than done!) and become aggressive and rude to get these lazy ass doctors to do their job. I'm done searching for good doctors because I don't think I'm going to find any around here. I don't like to be a bitch, especially to someone that I'm asking to help me but it seems that being a bitch may be the only way that I'm going to get any help at all.
You know, when I started this blog it was supposed to be all about miniatures but sometimes I forget that other people read what I write and I go drifting off into these rants about my ongoing saga with the medical profession. For the most part, I end up talking to myself and then remember that other people are reading it. I seldom go back and read my blog but I looked at the archives today and thought, "Oh lordy, this is starting to sound like General Hospital without Luke and Laura". I've thought about deleting some of the things I've written and then decided to leave it all as it is because there are other people out there who go thru the same kind of fights that I do in an ongoing struggle to get proper medical attention. So I'll leave everything as it is just in case someone comes across it and realizes that they aren't alone and it's important to keep fighting even when it feels like you can't go on one more step.
In the mini side of life where things are much happier, I'm thrilled about getting the cortisone refill in my hands because the design plan for the Rosedale is finished and I'll be starting to order wallpaper and supplies and all those other fun things this week. My hands will be functional again about the time it all gets here. Woooooooohooooooooo! While I'm waiting for them to arrive I'll be working on the furniture and window treatment designs to pull it all together. It's been exciting to plan this house and it's going to be sooooooo pretty! There's a special architectural feature that I'm going to add to the bedroom that I think will take the house over the top. I haven't been this psyched up about a house since I built my own Willowcrest.........and this Rosedale is going to be every bit as spectacular.
I almost forgot that I was going to share a picture of one of my recent challenges. One of my favorite clients sent me some vintage white wicker furniture with a request that I dress it in oriental fabrics, preferably a dragon. I thought, "I can do that!" and set aside some gorgeous chinese red brocade for it. When I showed him the fabric he said, "That's really pretty but this is going to be outdoor furniture and I need it to be yellow and blue to match the exterior of the house". {moment of silence} Yellow and blue oriental fabric with dragons. Now that's not something that you see every day.
{giggling} Well, it's not something you see every day unless you have my eclectic fabric stash. LOL! Would you believe that I actually had a piece of yellow and blue oriental fabric with a dragon print? What are the odds of that happening??? It was one lonely little fat quarter of a print from one of Hoffman's challenges way back when. It's at least 10 years old and waaaaaaaaay out of production. But a fat quarter is all I needed, even with some fussy cutting to get the dragons just right.
The client send me one of the actual windows from the house so I could match up the colors. The first thing I did was weave a matching ribbon into the sides of the chairs to perk up the elderly wicker just a teeny bit. I used the same dark blue for the pillows so it would pick up the darker blue in the print. Here's what the set looks like with the window behind it. From this angle, the dressing has a bright and cheery, and somewhat tropical, look with the focus on the colors and not the design.
The first person I saw was Dr. B's physician's assistant. My first impression was "I have shoes that are older than this kid". Then I took a closer look and thought, "Wow! If he has an Australian accent, he'll be a perfect double for Dr Chase on "House". He's pretty!" It didn't take long to figure out that there was more to the PA than a pretty face. He's intelligent and was very meticulous in his exam. He asked a lot of questions and listened to my answers. The listening part alone got him a gold star in my book. That doesn't happen very often! Even more impressive was that he took notes. After he was finished, he went outside and discussed his findings with Dr. B and they looked at my MRI pics before he came in.
The first thing Dr. B asked was, "How long have you had this pain?" I opened my mouth to answer and then realized that I really don't know. I tried to answer again and my brain still wouldn't engage. So I sat there looking like a fish while I tried to figure it out. Finally I told him that the pain started about 20 years ago but has become debilitating in the past five years. He looked at the forms I'd filled out and said, "Tell me about the old injuries to your back that you mentioned here".
Oh dear. I was afraid that was going to come up. I'd thought about not mentioning them at all when I filled out the paperwork but if I want doctors to be honest with me, I can't not tell them things that might be important. So I took a deep breath and explained about Domestic Violence: The Gift That Keeps on Giving.
The upper back injury happened one night in the late '80s when I was sound asleep and my ex came into the bedroom, took an assault rifle off the wall, and slammed it down across my shoulders. It took about three or four years for me to recover from that one. When it would flare up I wouldn't be able to even turn my head for months at a time. Now it's just a dull ache that I don't notice unless I stop and think about it or the weather is really wet and cold.
The lower back injury wasn't nearly as dramatic but apparently it caused more damage. My ex shoved me into a kitchen counter and the corner of the countertop made a direct hit into my right kidney. That one never really stopped hurting, especially if I touch that spot on my back, but after awhile I got used to it. My way of dealing with pain isn't to ignore it or try to convince myself that it doesn't hurt..........I just convince my brain that it's normal to feel that way. The human body is a lot tougher than most people imagine. With time, we can learn how to assimilate almost anything.
Fortunately Dr B didn't make a big deal about the reasons, he simply asked, "Why haven't you looked for pain relief before now?" I explained that I didn't have the option for medical assistance at the time and then later on, I'd lived with it for so long that I didn't really even think about it anymore. When it started to get worse there were other medical issues that took a priority and the only reason I was seeing him now is because my rheumatologist had finally seen the MRI report that the quack internist had dismissed as "just fine" and said she wanted me to see a back specialist. Fortunately I had a lull in doctor appointments until the end of the month so I could fit him in. I think his lip twitched and he almost smiled at that.
After that he started his exam and pushed and prodded at various parts of my back, especially where the degenerative disc disease and facet arthropathy is the worst. He showed me one of the spine sculptures that doctors always have and explained how the bones were grinding against each other in those places and how steroid shots would provide the cushion to relieve the pain. He said surgery may be something to consider down the line but for now we can try the shots and see how I do with them. Yay!!
The discussion turned to which part of my spine to do first since they need to divide the amount of steroids up into two sessions for it to be effective. Dr B told me to turn around with my back to him and he started tapping against my spine with the flat side of his fist. I yelped a little here and there but it wasn't any worse than any other exam until he got to the S1 joint. He waited until I exhaled and then drew back and gave it a rap just to the right of my spine.
OMFG. I screamed and my knees buckled. My hubby caught me before I could hit the floor and shoved my cane under my hand. I pulled myself back upright, gasping for air but not really finding any. Tears were running down my face and I realized that the sobbing noises I heard were coming from me. It felt like a piece of bone had come off and pierced the bundle of nerves at the base of my spine. It took several minutes before I could catch my breath and stop crying.
That was a real awakening for me. Dr B had just demonstrated the amount of pain that exists when I'm not controlling it thru breathing and diversionary tactics. It shocked the hell out of me to think that this is the pain that I've been living with for so long. Granted I don't often encounter raps to my lower back like that, but the pain is the same that I feel whenever I'm standing or walking.........just not as sudden or unexpected so I can control it. I didn't see Dr B's rap coming and he caught me on the exhale so it was a sucker punch for sure. I understand why he had to do it to evaluate the pain levels accurately, but if he ever does it again I'm gonna go upside his head with my cane. Not even a doctor gets more than one chance at a sucker punch with me. LOL!
Dr B helped me back up on the exam table and said that we'd start the injections with the sacrum region and do the lumbar later. There will be around 60 injections the first time, but they're going to put me under the "amnesia anesthesia" so it doesn't matter. The really good thing is that he said they can do the cortisone shots in my hands at the same time. Double Yay!! I'm waaaaaay overdue for a refill in my wrists so right now I'm happier about that then I am about the back. I'm glad we can get that all over in the same day. Given the option, I'd rather have twice the pain on one day than to have half the pain on two days. Might as well get it over with at once. Hopefully the injections will work on my back. I'm optimistic about that since I already know that cortisone works for my hands. It stands to reason that it might work on my back too. I haven't really thought much about what it would be like to not have the pain in my back. It's been so long that I can't really wrap my brain around that concept, but it did cross my mind that it would be nice to be able to mop the kitchen floor without having to stop and sit down every three minutes.
The last thing Dr B talked to me about is the cyst on my right kidney which had him pretty concerned. He's sure it's from the old injury (which didn't surprise me at all) and strongly recommended that I find a good internist to take a look at it. He said that the shots aren't going to impact any pain coming from the kidney at all so the worst of the pain may still be there afterwards and if it is, then at least it arms me with information that I can use to push an internist into doing the tests needed to determine the damage to the kidney and possibly get the cyst removed. I'm putting that on my medical to-do list right after "getting oxygen to my muscles" and "removing the elephant in my throat".
I'm having the shots done on the 26th which is going to be a busy week because I see the pulmonologist on the 27th and the thyroid surgeon on the 29th. Oh, and as long as I was there, I asked the doc about the pain in my collarbone that the thyroid specialists say can't possibly be caused by my collarbone being shoved into my thyroid gland. He said there's nothing skeletal causing it. Therefore, if the thyroid surgeon tries to pull that same bullshit line on me of "It's just arthritis or referred pain from your spine", I can tell him that I have a rheumatologist and a spine specialist who are both willing to 'splain anatomy to him and prove that it's his job to fix it.
I may be on the right track, depending on what happens with the pulmonologist and the surgeon. At least I have one more doctor on my side who's willing to tell other doctors what needs to be done. I'll be going into see doctors 12 and 13 with a real chip on my shoulder and I'll start yelling if I need to. At this point I really don't give a shit if they have to call security to come drag me out of their offices. I'm not going to leave until someone does something to fix me. My awakening moment in Dr B's office has been a bit of an eye opener that things are probably a lot worse than I think they are. If I can hide *that* kind of pain from myself, what else have I become accustomed to just because it's felt that way for so long? I shouldn't have to live with a thyroid gland that is constant agony because there's a bone jammed into it. I shouldn't have to live on 80% of the oxygen my body needs simply because some template says that I'm too fat to be considered worth fixing--especially since it's the lack of proper medical attention that has caused my weight gain in the first place. Most of all I shouldn't have to live with the possibility of cancer growing unchecked in my throat. I've been pissed for a long time, but now I think that I'm just plain outraged about it all. I guess it's time for my southern upbringing to be set aside (much easier said than done!) and become aggressive and rude to get these lazy ass doctors to do their job. I'm done searching for good doctors because I don't think I'm going to find any around here. I don't like to be a bitch, especially to someone that I'm asking to help me but it seems that being a bitch may be the only way that I'm going to get any help at all.
You know, when I started this blog it was supposed to be all about miniatures but sometimes I forget that other people read what I write and I go drifting off into these rants about my ongoing saga with the medical profession. For the most part, I end up talking to myself and then remember that other people are reading it. I seldom go back and read my blog but I looked at the archives today and thought, "Oh lordy, this is starting to sound like General Hospital without Luke and Laura". I've thought about deleting some of the things I've written and then decided to leave it all as it is because there are other people out there who go thru the same kind of fights that I do in an ongoing struggle to get proper medical attention. So I'll leave everything as it is just in case someone comes across it and realizes that they aren't alone and it's important to keep fighting even when it feels like you can't go on one more step.
In the mini side of life where things are much happier, I'm thrilled about getting the cortisone refill in my hands because the design plan for the Rosedale is finished and I'll be starting to order wallpaper and supplies and all those other fun things this week. My hands will be functional again about the time it all gets here. Woooooooohooooooooo! While I'm waiting for them to arrive I'll be working on the furniture and window treatment designs to pull it all together. It's been exciting to plan this house and it's going to be sooooooo pretty! There's a special architectural feature that I'm going to add to the bedroom that I think will take the house over the top. I haven't been this psyched up about a house since I built my own Willowcrest.........and this Rosedale is going to be every bit as spectacular.
I almost forgot that I was going to share a picture of one of my recent challenges. One of my favorite clients sent me some vintage white wicker furniture with a request that I dress it in oriental fabrics, preferably a dragon. I thought, "I can do that!" and set aside some gorgeous chinese red brocade for it. When I showed him the fabric he said, "That's really pretty but this is going to be outdoor furniture and I need it to be yellow and blue to match the exterior of the house". {moment of silence} Yellow and blue oriental fabric with dragons. Now that's not something that you see every day.
{giggling} Well, it's not something you see every day unless you have my eclectic fabric stash. LOL! Would you believe that I actually had a piece of yellow and blue oriental fabric with a dragon print? What are the odds of that happening??? It was one lonely little fat quarter of a print from one of Hoffman's challenges way back when. It's at least 10 years old and waaaaaaaaay out of production. But a fat quarter is all I needed, even with some fussy cutting to get the dragons just right.
The client send me one of the actual windows from the house so I could match up the colors. The first thing I did was weave a matching ribbon into the sides of the chairs to perk up the elderly wicker just a teeny bit. I used the same dark blue for the pillows so it would pick up the darker blue in the print. Here's what the set looks like with the window behind it. From this angle, the dressing has a bright and cheery, and somewhat tropical, look with the focus on the colors and not the design.
But if you look straight down at them, the cushions show the dragon's talons holding crystal balls.
The throw is another fussy cut piece that has a tropical and bamboo look
until you turn it to the side and then you can see the dragon's face.
I like playing with little optical illusions like that and my client was thrilled with a set of wicker furniture that holds a secret.
The last bit of mini news today is that Dr Robertson is almost finished with a new steampunk mini that he's been working on for the past two weeks. He says that it's sure to be a big sensation because he's figured out a way to fit more naps into the day. Now that's technology we can all put to good use!!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
A few steps back but moving forward again
I haven't talked about my ongoing search for medical resolutions for awhile because the latest events haven't been real positive. The new endo didn't turn out to be very helpful. She lost my test results and took almost three weeks to get them to me (after I called repeatedly) and I had to argue with her just to get her to send me forward to two other doctors who might be of help. The biggest argument that I had with her was when she told me that my thyroid hadn't changed at all for two years. Uh, look again lady! I told her I had the same two ultrasound reports sitting in front of me that she was looking at and actually had to guide her to "Look here.......and here.........and there........" so she could see how drastically it has changed in the two years between ultrasounds. Yeah, she's fired too.
The real setback for me was the "official" diagnosis from the pulmonary tests. The diagnosis is that I'm fat. {stunned silence} I can't believe she said that or that they actually put that as the main diagnosis on the tests. It sounds like they looked at my weight on the chart and stopped right there because obviously no one who weighs that much could have any other reason for pulmonary problems. To say that I was devastated is an understatement. I mean, I'm a recovered anorexic and this was like a shotgun blast to my psyche. Yes, I am overweight but there are a few things that need to go on record here with these doctors who are determined to dismiss me as fat and lazy.
I wasn't fat when all this started. Two and a half years ago I was a size 14 and that's when the breathing pressure started. That was back when I was still walking every day. The problem isn't so much that I can't breathe.......the problem is that the oxygen I take in doesn't get to my muscles.
The reason that I've gained weight is because I can't exercise. I'd like to see those doctors do aerobic exercise when their oxygen saturation rate is at 80%! Or even take a walk for that matter. Personally, I don't think they could even keep up with my daily routine if they had to deal with that O2 sat. The other reason I can't exercise is because if I do push those oxygen starved muscles the myfascia starts to tighten up on them and that sends my fibro into panic mode. If I do three minutes on the treadmill I'll be laid up in bed for a week. And because of the fibro issues, I have to take the maximum dosage of Lyrica which has some of the same side effects as steroids...........weight gain.
So you can imagine what it did to me to hear "You're overweight and that's why you need to be on oxygen". I think I cried nonstop for a week. But before I started to cry, I pushed back at the doctor about the results and told her that there had to be more to it because the breathing problem existed before I gained weight. She read a little further and said, "Well, there is a slight possibility that it could be a problem with the air diffusion from your lungs to your heart. There's a marker for DLCO that popped up in the test but they don't think that's the issue. They're pretty sure it's your weight".
{banging head on keyboard} Let's review for a minute. The reason I'm on oxygen isn't because I can't catch my breath. I walk around all day and I'm not gasping, panting or wheezing. The only time I have trouble breathing is when I turn my head or look down and my thyroid blocks my throat. The problem is that the oxygen doesn't go where it's supposed to go after I get it into my lungs. So after I went off on her about that, she finally agreed to get me into see a pulmonologist. Then I asked her which surgeon she was going to refer me to and she said, "What for? There's no upper airway obstruction caused by the thyroid......it's just your weight. Why do you need to see a thyroid surgeon?" {snarling} Oh, let's call it a whim of mine. I still think that having my collarbone jammed into my thyroid gland might have something to do with all that intense pain in my shoulder and throat, and hey, while we're at it I'd really like to know just how far down into my chest this thing has grown since no one has even bothered to look any lower than the base of my throat. If this is a sub-sternum thyroid, there could be some real problems in there. It would also be nice to be able to breathe when I look at my feet. Other people are allowed to continue breathing when they look down and I think I'd like to be able to do that too. She said she'd get me set up with the thyroid surgeon because "Well, the size alone qualifies you for a thyroidectomy".
{stunned silence} If that's true, why do I still have a thyroid? Why the hell do all these doctors keep resisting me about this???
So she agreed to get me set up with the surgeon............and promptly forgot because I had to call back three weeks later (making it a total of six weeks since I'd seen her) and beg the recep in her office to just transfer me to the endo surgical department and set it up myself. So I see the pulmonologist on July 27th and the thyroid surgeon on July 29th.
On of the things that pisses me off the most about the pulmonology report wanting to blame all this on my weight is that reduced air diffusion can be caused by fibroid tissue in the lungs which is associated with rheumatoid arthritis.............something my hand surgeon says I have even tho the blood tests are all negative. That's why the hand surgeon is going to do an open incision when he does my CRS so he can get a deep tissue biopsy that is more conclusive than the blood tests. (and we have to keep putting off the hand surgeries because resolving the thyroid and breathing issues take priority so I'm limping by on cortisone shots in my hands until that wondrous day arrives) So you can see why I'm so concerned that the pulmonologist might just take the "you're fat" excuse and not pursue the other potential problems. There's a lot at stake here.
I haven't felt much like talking about this but since my blog has become something of a medical diary for me so I can track dates and the sequence of events, I thought I better not leave anything out. For those of you who follow my blog and actually read this, I'm sorry to be a downer sometimes. This part of my life really sucks and while I try to keep a positive spin on it, sometimes there's just nothing good to say.
However, it does get a little better from here because I had a good appointment with my rheumatologist on Friday but I have to backtrack a little bit to explain the good part.
A problem that has taken a back seat to my thyroid and breathing issues has been my lower back and my right hip. I've been telling doctors for a couple of years that I can't walk or stand for more than three or four minutes before my back is in excruciating pain. We're talking about the kind of pain that takes people to their knees and would do the same to me if I wasn't blessed with an extremely high tolerance for pain. I rate the back pain at a 14 on a scale of 1-10 and keep telling them that it feels like bone on bone coz it's definitely not muscle. When I'm not standing or walking, the pain is normally around an 8 or 9 but never lower. The xrays have shown degenerative disk disease and arthritis in my spine so that's what everyone has written it off as and even when I demanded xrays of my hip, they said they didn't see anything but "mild ddd". Last November I talked the internist's PA into ordering an MRI of my lumbar region just to see if that showed something that might be missed on the xrays. She did and when she gave me the results she said, "It's just mild degenerative disk disease. Keep taking your arthritis meds".
I figured that if the MRI didn't show anything then the diagnosis was right and tried to just suck it up and live with it. It's gotten worse and I started using a cane to get around a few months ago but I figured that's what the "degenerative" part means. Anyway, when I gathered up all my medical records a couple of months ago it included the MRI report. Most of that is greek to me but I did see that they found a cyst on my right kidney. {shrugging} My body is so full of fibroids that it would only be surprising if I had an internal organ that didn't have a cyst. I did some research and the cyst is within acceptable size limits for a kidney cyst so that's not a problem unless it starts acting up. The rest of the report is all in medical-ese so I tucked it into my file to take to my next appointment with my rheumatologist.
That was on Friday and when I handed it to her, she looked it over and said, "Wow! There's a LOT going on here!". HUH??? I was told there was nothing at all! She said that in addition to the DDD, there are bulging disks all the way from L3 to S1 and moderate facet arthropathy which is worse on the right side. That last part means that the actual bones of my spine are rubbing against each other and the erosion is more on the right than the left which sorta sets me off balance. It shouldn't be causing the radiating pain down my leg but we'll find out if the kidney cyst has something to do with that since the epicenter of the radiating pain is over that kidney. The main thing is that she immediately faxed the MRI report over to a spinal pain management doc and I'll be setting up an appointment with him on Monday. This is the kind of doc that does the ultrasound guided cortisone and spinal epidural shots. I'm hopeful that if the kidney cyst is a problem he can diagnose it and get me to someone who can remove it. At this point I'm totally unconcerned about the risks of the spinal shots and am content to be thrilled that I might get some actual pain relief.
This is something positive so I'm happy about that. My rheumatologist also made me feel a lot better emotionally when she was genuinely angry about the pulmonary diagnosis that I'm just fat. She ranted for several minutes about how they might as well have slapped me in the face instead of telling me something like that. Dr. H knows that I used to be an avid walker so she knows that I'm not just fat and lazy. She took the time to talk to me about why I've gained weight and why nothing can be done about it until some of these other issues get fixed. She also told me to make sure that both the pulmonologist and the surgeon call her for a consult because she's going to make damned sure they know how severe both problems are to my overall health.
She also had a few strong things to say about the endo not pursuing the thyroid surgery. She said, "You've had two fine needle aspirations but they biopsied the same nodule both times. Everyone knows how notoriously inaccurate those FNA biopsies are and with so many nodules with microcalcifications in your thyroid, they're playing games with your life. We *have* to get that thyroid out of you because the risk of cancer is very real".
{sniffling} And then she hugged me and told me not to give up. She said she understands how frustrating it is to be on doctor #11 and still have to keep fighting. It really did help a lot to hear her tell me to never give up hope and know that I have at least one doctor on my side. I'll have a little more confidence going into see the pulmonologist and the surgeon later this month knowing that I'll be handing them her card and telling them that I'll be checking to make sure they talk to her.
As always, I'm hopeful that doctors #11, 12 and 13 will finally be the ones who can make things better. After all, 13 has always been my lucky number.
The real setback for me was the "official" diagnosis from the pulmonary tests. The diagnosis is that I'm fat. {stunned silence} I can't believe she said that or that they actually put that as the main diagnosis on the tests. It sounds like they looked at my weight on the chart and stopped right there because obviously no one who weighs that much could have any other reason for pulmonary problems. To say that I was devastated is an understatement. I mean, I'm a recovered anorexic and this was like a shotgun blast to my psyche. Yes, I am overweight but there are a few things that need to go on record here with these doctors who are determined to dismiss me as fat and lazy.
I wasn't fat when all this started. Two and a half years ago I was a size 14 and that's when the breathing pressure started. That was back when I was still walking every day. The problem isn't so much that I can't breathe.......the problem is that the oxygen I take in doesn't get to my muscles.
The reason that I've gained weight is because I can't exercise. I'd like to see those doctors do aerobic exercise when their oxygen saturation rate is at 80%! Or even take a walk for that matter. Personally, I don't think they could even keep up with my daily routine if they had to deal with that O2 sat. The other reason I can't exercise is because if I do push those oxygen starved muscles the myfascia starts to tighten up on them and that sends my fibro into panic mode. If I do three minutes on the treadmill I'll be laid up in bed for a week. And because of the fibro issues, I have to take the maximum dosage of Lyrica which has some of the same side effects as steroids...........weight gain.
So you can imagine what it did to me to hear "You're overweight and that's why you need to be on oxygen". I think I cried nonstop for a week. But before I started to cry, I pushed back at the doctor about the results and told her that there had to be more to it because the breathing problem existed before I gained weight. She read a little further and said, "Well, there is a slight possibility that it could be a problem with the air diffusion from your lungs to your heart. There's a marker for DLCO that popped up in the test but they don't think that's the issue. They're pretty sure it's your weight".
{banging head on keyboard} Let's review for a minute. The reason I'm on oxygen isn't because I can't catch my breath. I walk around all day and I'm not gasping, panting or wheezing. The only time I have trouble breathing is when I turn my head or look down and my thyroid blocks my throat. The problem is that the oxygen doesn't go where it's supposed to go after I get it into my lungs. So after I went off on her about that, she finally agreed to get me into see a pulmonologist. Then I asked her which surgeon she was going to refer me to and she said, "What for? There's no upper airway obstruction caused by the thyroid......it's just your weight. Why do you need to see a thyroid surgeon?" {snarling} Oh, let's call it a whim of mine. I still think that having my collarbone jammed into my thyroid gland might have something to do with all that intense pain in my shoulder and throat, and hey, while we're at it I'd really like to know just how far down into my chest this thing has grown since no one has even bothered to look any lower than the base of my throat. If this is a sub-sternum thyroid, there could be some real problems in there. It would also be nice to be able to breathe when I look at my feet. Other people are allowed to continue breathing when they look down and I think I'd like to be able to do that too. She said she'd get me set up with the thyroid surgeon because "Well, the size alone qualifies you for a thyroidectomy".
{stunned silence} If that's true, why do I still have a thyroid? Why the hell do all these doctors keep resisting me about this???
So she agreed to get me set up with the surgeon............and promptly forgot because I had to call back three weeks later (making it a total of six weeks since I'd seen her) and beg the recep in her office to just transfer me to the endo surgical department and set it up myself. So I see the pulmonologist on July 27th and the thyroid surgeon on July 29th.
On of the things that pisses me off the most about the pulmonology report wanting to blame all this on my weight is that reduced air diffusion can be caused by fibroid tissue in the lungs which is associated with rheumatoid arthritis.............something my hand surgeon says I have even tho the blood tests are all negative. That's why the hand surgeon is going to do an open incision when he does my CRS so he can get a deep tissue biopsy that is more conclusive than the blood tests. (and we have to keep putting off the hand surgeries because resolving the thyroid and breathing issues take priority so I'm limping by on cortisone shots in my hands until that wondrous day arrives) So you can see why I'm so concerned that the pulmonologist might just take the "you're fat" excuse and not pursue the other potential problems. There's a lot at stake here.
I haven't felt much like talking about this but since my blog has become something of a medical diary for me so I can track dates and the sequence of events, I thought I better not leave anything out. For those of you who follow my blog and actually read this, I'm sorry to be a downer sometimes. This part of my life really sucks and while I try to keep a positive spin on it, sometimes there's just nothing good to say.
However, it does get a little better from here because I had a good appointment with my rheumatologist on Friday but I have to backtrack a little bit to explain the good part.
A problem that has taken a back seat to my thyroid and breathing issues has been my lower back and my right hip. I've been telling doctors for a couple of years that I can't walk or stand for more than three or four minutes before my back is in excruciating pain. We're talking about the kind of pain that takes people to their knees and would do the same to me if I wasn't blessed with an extremely high tolerance for pain. I rate the back pain at a 14 on a scale of 1-10 and keep telling them that it feels like bone on bone coz it's definitely not muscle. When I'm not standing or walking, the pain is normally around an 8 or 9 but never lower. The xrays have shown degenerative disk disease and arthritis in my spine so that's what everyone has written it off as and even when I demanded xrays of my hip, they said they didn't see anything but "mild ddd". Last November I talked the internist's PA into ordering an MRI of my lumbar region just to see if that showed something that might be missed on the xrays. She did and when she gave me the results she said, "It's just mild degenerative disk disease. Keep taking your arthritis meds".
I figured that if the MRI didn't show anything then the diagnosis was right and tried to just suck it up and live with it. It's gotten worse and I started using a cane to get around a few months ago but I figured that's what the "degenerative" part means. Anyway, when I gathered up all my medical records a couple of months ago it included the MRI report. Most of that is greek to me but I did see that they found a cyst on my right kidney. {shrugging} My body is so full of fibroids that it would only be surprising if I had an internal organ that didn't have a cyst. I did some research and the cyst is within acceptable size limits for a kidney cyst so that's not a problem unless it starts acting up. The rest of the report is all in medical-ese so I tucked it into my file to take to my next appointment with my rheumatologist.
That was on Friday and when I handed it to her, she looked it over and said, "Wow! There's a LOT going on here!". HUH??? I was told there was nothing at all! She said that in addition to the DDD, there are bulging disks all the way from L3 to S1 and moderate facet arthropathy which is worse on the right side. That last part means that the actual bones of my spine are rubbing against each other and the erosion is more on the right than the left which sorta sets me off balance. It shouldn't be causing the radiating pain down my leg but we'll find out if the kidney cyst has something to do with that since the epicenter of the radiating pain is over that kidney. The main thing is that she immediately faxed the MRI report over to a spinal pain management doc and I'll be setting up an appointment with him on Monday. This is the kind of doc that does the ultrasound guided cortisone and spinal epidural shots. I'm hopeful that if the kidney cyst is a problem he can diagnose it and get me to someone who can remove it. At this point I'm totally unconcerned about the risks of the spinal shots and am content to be thrilled that I might get some actual pain relief.
This is something positive so I'm happy about that. My rheumatologist also made me feel a lot better emotionally when she was genuinely angry about the pulmonary diagnosis that I'm just fat. She ranted for several minutes about how they might as well have slapped me in the face instead of telling me something like that. Dr. H knows that I used to be an avid walker so she knows that I'm not just fat and lazy. She took the time to talk to me about why I've gained weight and why nothing can be done about it until some of these other issues get fixed. She also told me to make sure that both the pulmonologist and the surgeon call her for a consult because she's going to make damned sure they know how severe both problems are to my overall health.
She also had a few strong things to say about the endo not pursuing the thyroid surgery. She said, "You've had two fine needle aspirations but they biopsied the same nodule both times. Everyone knows how notoriously inaccurate those FNA biopsies are and with so many nodules with microcalcifications in your thyroid, they're playing games with your life. We *have* to get that thyroid out of you because the risk of cancer is very real".
{sniffling} And then she hugged me and told me not to give up. She said she understands how frustrating it is to be on doctor #11 and still have to keep fighting. It really did help a lot to hear her tell me to never give up hope and know that I have at least one doctor on my side. I'll have a little more confidence going into see the pulmonologist and the surgeon later this month knowing that I'll be handing them her card and telling them that I'll be checking to make sure they talk to her.
As always, I'm hopeful that doctors #11, 12 and 13 will finally be the ones who can make things better. After all, 13 has always been my lucky number.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
A little ragtime to start the day
Anyone who knows me IRL knows that I've always had a thing for the music of Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show. {cackle} Yeah, I know. If you know who they are you're thinking the same thing I am right now---and it's not about their stuff that got played on the radio either. hehehehehehehehe I got a kick out of Ray and the guys when I was a teenager and they still make me laugh.
I'm not sure but I think my subconscious convinced me to start a steampunk line of minis just so I could use one of Dr. Hook's songs in a video.
Dr Thaddeus Meets Dr Hook
Enjoy!
I'm not sure but I think my subconscious convinced me to start a steampunk line of minis just so I could use one of Dr. Hook's songs in a video.
Dr Thaddeus Meets Dr Hook
Enjoy!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
It's getting crowded in here
.
I've been told it's a strange thing to do, but I've always given names to various aspects of my personality. I don't have a split personality and I don't have clinically diagnosed multiple personalities.......I simply understand that my personality is very diverse and eclectic and I embrace every part of it as a unique individual.
Even as a child I knew that it wasn't a good idea to tell other people about this little habit of mine so I didn't mention things like Herbie (who likes to give human characteristics to inanimate objects). It's not like I had imaginary friends either. I suffer from excessive contact with reality which makes it impossible to have imaginary friends. However, I do have a rather bizarre sense of humor and it amuses me to isolate different personality traits and give them names.
Herbie was around a lot when I was a kid and even tho he makes fewer public appearances, he's still very much a part of me. I think the funniest thing that Herbie ever did was when I was in high school and he took to carrying around a rubber worm in our pocket. He swore that the worm was alive and had a passion for lettuce and mayo sandwiches. {pausing to think back} The rubber worm was stolen by a guy I was dating and I've never figured out if he did it because he wanted a souvenir or if the whole thing was just creeping him out. {shrug} Doesn't matter because he didn't last much longer than a lettuce sandwich at a July picnic. I've never had much tolerance for people who are critical of my whimsy.
But anyway, Herbie is still a vital part of my personality even if he's not as public about it these days. I still talk to inanimate objects and still bestow human traits on some of them. It's a handy way to feel for someone who builds builds dollhouses for a living. Yep, it could even be considered as part of my job description.
{grinning} My favorite was always Trixie. Ah, Trixie and I had some really good times together. Trixie is part of my fashion-personality and, well, to put it bluntly, Trixie is *such* a slut. Going shopping with Trixie was always a hoot! I can look back at pictures of myself and think, "Yep, that was a Trixie outfit for sure". She bought things like hoop earrings the size of bracelets, and hip hugger jeans with body shirts that unbuttoned down to there. She was the one who would unbutton our shirt and tie it up under our boobs as soon as we left the house in high school. She picked out stiletto heels with open toes and wore them with flirty red dresses whose skirts whirled around our thighs when we walked. As we got older, Trixie matured with me but her style was still unmistakable. She wore Donna Karan suits without a blouse, glorying in the black velvet push up bra underneath. If I walked into the office wearing my notorious black leather skirt (pencil thin with a slit up the back) and a black silk blouse, my coworkers would greet me by cheerfully calling, "Good Morning Trixie!". {cackle} Oh yes, Trixie was well known and had quite a following. People knew that if I came into the office wearing a Trixie-outfit, it meant that I was in a mood to either do battle or have some fun. (and that wasn't all bad because anyone who has played in the corporate world knows that sometimes a little cleavage or leg is fair when a woman needs an edge on a male-dominated battlefield......and Trixie was confident enough to pull it off)
Sadly, Trixie has been around less and less as my health issues have changed my body structure but she's still a part of me. All I have to do to get her back in the spotlight is play Bob Seger's "Her Strut" and Trixie comes running. We have a good time reminiscing about the good old days when we weren't good, we weren't old, and it was the nights that mattered most.
There are others of course. Emma is the one who is very proper and has lovely manners. She's most often seen at award's banquets and Women's Club luncheons, weddings and funerals. There are two mothers..........One is just plain "Mother" and she's the earthy type. She's very bohemian in style and attitude. The other is "Mother M" and she's the one who gives people flashbacks to Catholic school. She'll whack your knuckles with a ruler in a heartbeat if you step out of line and she has a very sharp edge to her tongue.
Most recently has been the arrival of Dr. Thaddeus Robertson. {beaming} We're all so proud to finally have a doctor in the family. I'd never given a name to the geeky side of me before so it was high time that I formally recognized that part of my personality. Dr. Robertson is the one who does steampunk minis because he so loves things that have flashy lights and buttons to push and make gurgling sounds when they work. He's also a bit of a cynic and a smart ass. I like having him around and in his own way, he fits right in with the rest of the gang.
The list goes on and on but you get the idea. It's a quirk of mine to name them all and to acknowledge when they take the driver's seat. Oh, and the one with the weird sense of humor who likes to talk a lot..............that's just Deb.
On the mini side of things this week, I have two things to share. One is an admirable speaking-out against art thieves by Grimdeva of Cauldron Craft Miniatures. Drop in on her blog and see what she has to say. I think all artisans can identify with what she's going thru and respect her taking a stand about it.
The other is my new toy, the Dremel Trio Tool! It slices, it dices, it makes french fries in less than 30 seconds! Ooops. Wait a minute, that's the wrong tool. LOL! Actually, I think the Trio could probably do all of that too but its main functions are sawing, sanding and routing all in one tool. I rushed to Home Depot as soon as I saw it because this is the tool of my dreams. It does plunge cuts!! That's the first and best thing, but it's also a scrolling saw which means that there's no more tearing at the wood with a reciprocating saw blade. Bye-bye splinters!! I can do straight edges, circles, and free hand designs with equal ease. It also replaces my plunge router because it has an adjustable base and it sands too. The handle is articulated with two positions and it's about one third the size of a regular jigsaw. That means that it's heavy enough to be a serious tool (my mini jigsaw didn't have enough muscle) but it's small enough to fit perfectly into my hands and be easy to control. Yes, I'm in love with a power tool and I don't care who knows it!! Between the Trio and my Stylus, I've got just about everything covered all in two tools. The only other power tool I really need is my bench sander. I'm a happy girl.
I've been told it's a strange thing to do, but I've always given names to various aspects of my personality. I don't have a split personality and I don't have clinically diagnosed multiple personalities.......I simply understand that my personality is very diverse and eclectic and I embrace every part of it as a unique individual.
Even as a child I knew that it wasn't a good idea to tell other people about this little habit of mine so I didn't mention things like Herbie (who likes to give human characteristics to inanimate objects). It's not like I had imaginary friends either. I suffer from excessive contact with reality which makes it impossible to have imaginary friends. However, I do have a rather bizarre sense of humor and it amuses me to isolate different personality traits and give them names.
Herbie was around a lot when I was a kid and even tho he makes fewer public appearances, he's still very much a part of me. I think the funniest thing that Herbie ever did was when I was in high school and he took to carrying around a rubber worm in our pocket. He swore that the worm was alive and had a passion for lettuce and mayo sandwiches. {pausing to think back} The rubber worm was stolen by a guy I was dating and I've never figured out if he did it because he wanted a souvenir or if the whole thing was just creeping him out. {shrug} Doesn't matter because he didn't last much longer than a lettuce sandwich at a July picnic. I've never had much tolerance for people who are critical of my whimsy.
But anyway, Herbie is still a vital part of my personality even if he's not as public about it these days. I still talk to inanimate objects and still bestow human traits on some of them. It's a handy way to feel for someone who builds builds dollhouses for a living. Yep, it could even be considered as part of my job description.
{grinning} My favorite was always Trixie. Ah, Trixie and I had some really good times together. Trixie is part of my fashion-personality and, well, to put it bluntly, Trixie is *such* a slut. Going shopping with Trixie was always a hoot! I can look back at pictures of myself and think, "Yep, that was a Trixie outfit for sure". She bought things like hoop earrings the size of bracelets, and hip hugger jeans with body shirts that unbuttoned down to there. She was the one who would unbutton our shirt and tie it up under our boobs as soon as we left the house in high school. She picked out stiletto heels with open toes and wore them with flirty red dresses whose skirts whirled around our thighs when we walked. As we got older, Trixie matured with me but her style was still unmistakable. She wore Donna Karan suits without a blouse, glorying in the black velvet push up bra underneath. If I walked into the office wearing my notorious black leather skirt (pencil thin with a slit up the back) and a black silk blouse, my coworkers would greet me by cheerfully calling, "Good Morning Trixie!". {cackle} Oh yes, Trixie was well known and had quite a following. People knew that if I came into the office wearing a Trixie-outfit, it meant that I was in a mood to either do battle or have some fun. (and that wasn't all bad because anyone who has played in the corporate world knows that sometimes a little cleavage or leg is fair when a woman needs an edge on a male-dominated battlefield......and Trixie was confident enough to pull it off)
Sadly, Trixie has been around less and less as my health issues have changed my body structure but she's still a part of me. All I have to do to get her back in the spotlight is play Bob Seger's "Her Strut" and Trixie comes running. We have a good time reminiscing about the good old days when we weren't good, we weren't old, and it was the nights that mattered most.
There are others of course. Emma is the one who is very proper and has lovely manners. She's most often seen at award's banquets and Women's Club luncheons, weddings and funerals. There are two mothers..........One is just plain "Mother" and she's the earthy type. She's very bohemian in style and attitude. The other is "Mother M" and she's the one who gives people flashbacks to Catholic school. She'll whack your knuckles with a ruler in a heartbeat if you step out of line and she has a very sharp edge to her tongue.
Most recently has been the arrival of Dr. Thaddeus Robertson. {beaming} We're all so proud to finally have a doctor in the family. I'd never given a name to the geeky side of me before so it was high time that I formally recognized that part of my personality. Dr. Robertson is the one who does steampunk minis because he so loves things that have flashy lights and buttons to push and make gurgling sounds when they work. He's also a bit of a cynic and a smart ass. I like having him around and in his own way, he fits right in with the rest of the gang.
The list goes on and on but you get the idea. It's a quirk of mine to name them all and to acknowledge when they take the driver's seat. Oh, and the one with the weird sense of humor who likes to talk a lot..............that's just Deb.
On the mini side of things this week, I have two things to share. One is an admirable speaking-out against art thieves by Grimdeva of Cauldron Craft Miniatures. Drop in on her blog and see what she has to say. I think all artisans can identify with what she's going thru and respect her taking a stand about it.
The other is my new toy, the Dremel Trio Tool! It slices, it dices, it makes french fries in less than 30 seconds! Ooops. Wait a minute, that's the wrong tool. LOL! Actually, I think the Trio could probably do all of that too but its main functions are sawing, sanding and routing all in one tool. I rushed to Home Depot as soon as I saw it because this is the tool of my dreams. It does plunge cuts!! That's the first and best thing, but it's also a scrolling saw which means that there's no more tearing at the wood with a reciprocating saw blade. Bye-bye splinters!! I can do straight edges, circles, and free hand designs with equal ease. It also replaces my plunge router because it has an adjustable base and it sands too. The handle is articulated with two positions and it's about one third the size of a regular jigsaw. That means that it's heavy enough to be a serious tool (my mini jigsaw didn't have enough muscle) but it's small enough to fit perfectly into my hands and be easy to control. Yes, I'm in love with a power tool and I don't care who knows it!! Between the Trio and my Stylus, I've got just about everything covered all in two tools. The only other power tool I really need is my bench sander. I'm a happy girl.
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